TRIALS

I went to Jennifer's memorial service yesterday.  It was really nice.  She would've been surprised to see how many people showed up.  There was a point where people could stand up & say a few things about her...I surprised myself by standing up! I said a few things about her & read a poem. I'm an introvert & don't feel comfortable talking in front of groups of people, but felt that I needed to do that.  Jen was important to me. Her mom & sister flew in from Florida.  I had never met them before.  I wish that I would've me them under better circumstances.  They are just totally a mess.  It hurt to see them in so much pain. Her dad couldn't make it, because he's pretty sick.  Jen was always worried about him.  Jen's husband, Lyn, is totally lost.  I don't think he'll remember much of yesterday.  He's just going thru the motions.  They were together for 15 years, I believe. Their 10th wedding anniversary would've been on September 30th.  I will miss her.  Still can't believe she's gone. 

Mom has been having some health issues....who am I kidding...she's been having A LOT of health issues  She has a a bad back for quite awhile now.  She would get injections & all would be "good" for awhile.  Well her back started really hurting her again around May 2014, but the doctor was a pain in the ass about it.  She had an MRI done then & I took her out of town to see the doctor who usually gave her shots.  This time, he said that he wouldn't do it unless she stopped smoking.  Whatever.  So she continues to be in back pain for another year.  Finally, on July 27th, she was able to go to a doctor out of town & get a back injection.  She was so relieved to be able to do that & was looking forward to not being in pain.  Well guess life had other plans.  About a week later, she is in horrible pain on her right side.  Down her leg & her knee was absolutely killing her, so she thought she had done something to it.  She had stayed in bed most of the time like she was told to do, so wasn't sure what the issue was.  Mom has a high tolerance for pain, so when she's hurting, she's in some serious pain.  Took her to her usual doctor & he was a dick.  I don't know if he was having a bad day or what, but he was very condescending.  I hate that crap. He said that he didn't think it was her knee, that he didn't know what was going on, etc.  So we're about to leave & she told him that her foot hurt some too.  He's like  "Sue, is it your knee or your foot that hurts, you tell me one thing & then it's something else."  Total ass.  You don't talk to my mom like she's stupid.  She's in pain!  So later that week, she had talked to the doctor who had given her the back injection.  He said that he would be willing to do another one, but he wanted a new MRI done, since her other one was over a year old.  So we got that scheduled.  She had that done on September 14th.  Right away, they tell her that they want her to see a spine specialist in Denver ASAP because she had a "mass" in her back.  Of course, I automatically think the worse. It's just who I am.  Hope for the best but expect the worst.  Also at this time, her other leg (left one) has swelled up, is hard & hot & huge.  OK, that sounded inappropriate.LOL  She also had this huge blister on the top of her left foot right below her toes.  A bit of background...mom has had blood clots before...starting in her 30's, I believe.  So she has been on blood thinners (Coumadin) for a lot of years.  She had to take a high dose just to keep her blood from getting too thick.  She takes 20 mg a day & 25 mg on Wednesdays.  So she says it's not a blood clot, because her blood is so thin (they had checked it) & plus it wasn't hurting her at all like it had before.  The doctor agreed.  Said that there was no way it was a blood clot, but "just in case," they scheduled an ultrasound for September 22nd. So we get an appt in Denver for September 20th.  I drive her there...I hate driving in cities...but we finally get to this huge hospital that's next to Children's Hospital.  The whole thing is confusing.  Finally get to the right building.  They have free valet parking, so I did that.  We were running late as it was & I wasn't going to waste time trying to find a parking space.  We go in & have to go up the 4th floor.  Well it's a longer walk than we thought it would be & mom is having a really hard time walking it (I got a wheelchair for her on the way down). We get up there & the doctor is AMAZING.  She was totally cool & explained everything so that we could actually understand.  The "mass" was not a tumor (Thank God), it was a badly herniated disk that probably herniated not too long after the shot.  It's pressing on a couple of nerves.  They could do one of two things.  They could do another back injection & put it right into that area where it's herniated & see if that relieves the pain & if it doesn't she could have back surgery.  There is always a risk of complications from that.  Mom had said that she would never have back surgery, but she was actually considering it, so you know how much pain she's in. She decided to try the back injection first & see how that goes.  So they said they would set it up with the doctor who gave her one in July.  She also looked at mom's swollen leg & said that it looked horrible.  We told her she was going to have an ultrasound on it in a couple of days & she thought it was a good idea.  So we drive all the way back...we live about 3 hours from Denver.  Mom is still in pain.  They have her on Gabapentin for the nerve pain, plus they have her on a pain killer that's not even touching the pain basically.  She hates taking it anyway.  She has said that she doesn't want to live her life on pain killers.  I don't blame her.  So on the 22nd, I take her to the hospital for an ultrasound.  She comes out & said she is supposed to go over the to the doctor's office ASAP. Yep, she has a blood clot behind her left knee.  Thank God it hadn't broken free.  She had had it for a couple of weeks at least & was walking around, getting in & out of the car, etc.  The doctors are perplexed (I love that word!). She should NOT have a blood clot with the high dosage of Coumadin she is on.  They can't give her a higher dose, because there is a chance that she would start bleeding in her brain or elsewhere in her body.  He decides to take her off of Coumadin & puts her on Heparin.  Which is a pain, because she has to give herself shots 2x a day.  It's painful & leaves her bruised.  He doesn't think that she can be on it for the rest of her life, but he is going to have to do some research.  He also said that they could put a stent in her heart, so that if she did have a blood clot & it broke free, that would keep it from going to her heart, but he said he had read up on some about it & there isn't a guarantee that it would work & he doesn't want to do it if there's still that chance.  Oh, PLUS she has an aneurysm in a vein in that same leg!  He said absolutely NOT to any kind of back surgery, so that's off the table.  She also can't get another injection until after she sees the vascular specialist (for the aneurysm) & a hematologist for her blood issue.  They are looking for a blood disorder & to see what they can do to keep her from getting another clot.  Well she hasn't heard anything back about the hematologist yet, but the vascular specialist's office called & said that he doesn't have an open appt until the end of October!!  But that she would put "urgent" on it, so maybe he could see her a little sooner.  I hope that he/she can.  We need to get this resolved.  I hate seeing her in so much pain all of the time. My niece & I even went to the "weed store" to buy her some cream that she could rub into her leg to see if that helped at all.  Mom is against smoking weed 100%.  Said she won't do it, though I think it would help her & ease the pain some.  I don't smoke weed very often (it's legal here), but I have been considering doing it more just to de-stress.  I don't know.  Haven't decided yet. Anyway, mom agreed to try the cream.  It works for about an hour maybe.  I had never been into a weed store, so it was an experience.LOL  My niece seems to be a pro at it though.  

A LOSS

There has been so much that has happened in the past month & a half that I don't even know where to begin.  I don't have a lot of time to write right now, but wanted to at least get some things out there.

One of my best friends, Jennifer died on September 17th of a heart attack in her sleep.  She was only 34.  I was at Bingo with her the night before & she seemed fine.  I later learned that she couldh't sleep that night & at around 6:00am, her husband told her to go lay down & rest for awhile.  She also texted another one of her friends around that time.  He went to check on her at 7:00am & she was already gone.:(  Just like that.  She was this wonderful, amazing person who should still be in this world & I'm pissed off that she's not.  She had an amazing voice & would always be singing, sometime under her breath...don't even think she knew she was doing it at times.  I told her that she should go on "American Idol."  She told me that she wouldn't embarrass herself like that.  She had the voice for it, but she was overweight & society looks down on that.  I'm not sure what really caused the heart attack...maybe it was inevitable...the whole "it's just your time" thing.  But not long before she died, she had started that new diet program "Thrive."  She was so excited about it.  She was a cashier at Wal Mart & when I went in there one day, she was telling me how great she felt, that she had so much energy & she wasn't hungry.  That she had lost like 10 lbs in 2 weeks.  She wanted me to try it, but I just hadn't yet.  Wasn't really interested in trying it.  I have been on so many diets & none work, so I was just like "whatever."  After she died, I wondered if that had anything to do with it.  There are a few stimulants in the pills that you have tot take.  Synephrine {sp?} is one of them.  I don't even know if it says what's in it on the bottle, but I looked it up on-line.  It says that it raises blood pressure, heart rate & can cause heart attacks, especially in someone who has an underlying condition.  Well not everyone knows if they have an underlying condition. I don't know if she had one or not.  But here are other stimulants in there as well, plus if she had been drinking drinks that had caffeine in them as well {I don't know if she was or not} that would make things even worse.  I guess we will never know what really caused it.  They did an autopsy & that was the final ruling.  She & her husband would have celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary at the end of this month.  They had been together for 14 years, I believe. They met on-line.  She was from Florida.  I have known her husband since we were kids.  When she first came out here to meet him & then to live here, I was pregnant with my middle son & working at McDonald's. She started working there as well & we were instantly friends.  Even though I'm a lot older than she is.  I turned 46 at the end of August.  So weird to be this old.  I would forget that she was so much younger than me. Her husband is a couple of years younger than me, I think. She was so full of life.  She was loud.LOL  You could definitely hear her when you walked into a place where she was.  She had a great laugh, always looked on the bright side.  They didn't have any kids.  I couldn't imagine her as a mom.  She just wasn't that type of person to run after a kid.  Both her & her husband worked hard, but never seemed to be able to just relax & get ahead.  She worked at a few different jobs.  Most recently as a manger at Subway.  Which I think she liked, but it was a stressful job.  She started working at Wal Mart a month or so ago & loved it.  She liked that she wasn't in charge, I think.  Though she had that personality to BE in charge.  I asked her the night before she died how work was going & she said "relaxing."  She was happy.  She totally loved her husband more than anything.  Even after all the years that they were together, she was still as in love as she was at the beginning & he was too.  I have talked to him briefly since she died & as you can imagine, he is lost.  I don't think he'll ever get over losing Jen.  She was also really close to her mother-in-law. I'm sure she is just as lost.  She would come to Bingo with her & was always with her.  I haven't gone out to see them yet.  I'm sure they have enough going on as it is.  They are having a memorial service for her tomorrow afternoon.  I expect there to be a lot of people.  I don't think she knew how many lives she touched.  She gave everyone a chance, the benefit of the doubt, even though most people didn't give her a chance.  When you're overweight, you're overlooked a lot.  I know this & so did she.  But she was the friendliest person that you could ever meet.  Talking to everyone like she had known them for years.  She was loud, funny, caring, hard working, loyal.  Any words that I may put here don't do her justice.  You had to have known her.  But now she's gone forever.  I still have really accepted that yet.  That I will never see her again or hear her voice.  I keep asking her for a sign that she's OK.  But haven't gotten any yet.  Maybe there isn't anything after we die.  I know that you're supposed to have faith & I try.  I have always believed that there was something after death, but I want to KNOW that my loved one are OK.  I want to know that they still exist.  I don't know who to be mad at.  God, the Universe, Fate.  I just don't know.  She was cremated & part of her will be sent back to Florida to her parents & sister & the other part will stay here with her husband.  I can't even imagine what her parents & sister are going through.  They hadn't seen her for awhile, because she couldn't afford to go down there.  I'm just sad.  

I will write more soon.

IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING

Well I went to the doctor on the 22nd for a follow up.  She wanted me to get another chest x ray to make sure the pneumonia was totally gone.  Also wanted to talk to me about my blood work.  My cholesterol is "beautiful.":)  I thought that was pretty cool & rubbed it in my ex brother-in-law's face...he's always on my case about my mayo habit.LOL  I may have to give up some things, but mayo is NOT one of them. My iron is really low again...18% & it's supposed to be a lot higher than that.  It had been low once before, so I had taken some iron supplements...which helped.  I stopped taking them though, but obviously I need them.  I haven't started taking them again yet.  I take enough pills.  I will have to take like 4 of those a day.  Also...I'm pre-diabetic.:(  I thought I was, but hearing it from your doctor is a whole other story.  An A1C 6.0 or above is considered diabetic & mine is 5.8.  She said that I have time to reverse it...exercise, lose weight, etc.  Easy for her to say.  If anything..my eating has been more out of control this past week or so than it has been for awhile.  I don't know what the issue is.  It's like I'm ALWAYS hungry.  I'm afraid of getting on the scale.  I don't want to see the damage.  I HAVE exercised a few times...55 minutes of an exercise DVD..but not enough.  I keep saying "I'll be better tomorrow," but that hasn't been happening.  I'm not sure what to do to get it back under control.  Anyway...then there is my thyroid thing...I have nodules on it.  So she did another blood test to check to see how my thyroid is working...I have had my thyroid checked a lot over the years & it's always been "normal."  It was this time as well.  But she wanted to get a thyroid ultrasound done, because she had talked to the Ear, Nose & Throat specialist & he said if the nodules were less than 1 cm, then they would just "watch" them...but bigger than that & they would need to be biopsied.  So she gave me orders for that & the chest x ray.  I went & got those done on the 29th.  I was concerned about the ultrasound because I don't like things around my neck..but it wasn't too bad.  I was watching the monitor as she was doing the exam & she measured quite a few spots.  I got a call from the doctor on the morning of the 31st saying that my chest x ray was good, but that there were some "complex cysts" on my thyroid.  She didn't say how many, but they are on both sides & it's surprising that I don't have at least some trouble swallowing.  She said that she referred me to the Ear, Nose & Throat specialist & that they should be calling me.  Complex means that the cysts are made up of both fluid & solid components.  So I have to have a biopsy.:(  They will stick a thin needle in the cysts...yuck.  I have any appt on August 12th.  I have read some about thyroid cysts & over 90% are benign, so that's good...but the larger they are & if it has some solid stuff in it, it raises the chance of it being cancerous.  So kinda freaking out about that.  They wouldn't even have known that they were there if I hadn't need a CAT scan to find the pneumonia back in June. So I feel that it was meant to be found...but who knows how it will go from here.  Just hoping for the best.

The boys & I are going to Denver tomorrow for a few days.  Take them to the zoo & a few other places.  I wanted to take them somewhere & also spend some time with them before school starts again.  I have so much stuff to do before we leave that I feel a little overwhelmed.  Need to clean up the apartment, clean the car out, do some laundry at the laundromat, pay some bills, etc.  Then get back on Friday & drop the kids off, then am going to house sit for a friend for the weekend in Fairplay.  So all of that will keep me busy for at least awhile.  I'm always a bit scared of August anymore.LOL  Used to be my fave month because my birthday is at the end of the month, but there have been some bad things happen this month...more than other months.  So both really good things & really bad things have happened in August...hoping that this one is a good one though.  Last August was horrible.

My son & I went to Bingo last Friday night.  On the progressive, you had to get a blackout in 55 #'s or less for $3,000...if not then you would get $100.  Phillip got the blackout in 56 #'s!!  SOOOOO close!!!lol  He usually doesn't go with me, so it was nice that he decided to go.

School starts here around the 18th, I think.  Not looking forward to it AT ALL.  Mornings of "I'm tired," "I don't feel good," "I don't wanna go to school today" are in my future.  Just stressful mornings.  I am trying to get them to go to bed earlier now...but the oldest & youngest are NOT cooperating with me at the moment.

FAT SUCKS

I suck at this whole diet thing.  Always have...that's why I am the way I am now.  I'm good for a day or two...then "fall of the wagon."  I love food.  Always thinking about food.  Obsessing about food.  It's annoying.  I don't know what "normal" is where food is concerned, but that's what I want to be.  I want to be able to eat without overeating, I want to be able to have the things I like in moderation...but once I start eating ANYTHING with carbs...it's done.  I can't even do just the one meal a day with carbs...because I get out of control.  Then I just want more. I can't "carb cycle" for the same reason.  Maybe if I had money to get low carb food with, it would be different?  Who knows.  Right now, we eat what we have to eat.  Which is pretty much nothing low carb.   I binge...way too much. I haven't been exercising, but have been drinking more water.  I'm just basically disgusted with myself, food, being fat, etc.  I just need to figure out what works & do it.  I just so need to figure this out.  

NEED TO DO THIS!!

I keep saying that I want to lose weight, etc...but I don't even really try.  I might as well admit that right now.  I'm lazy basically.  I don't like to exercise...though I feel better after.  I don't drink enough water, don't stay low carb like I know I need to.  But enough is enough.  Otherwise I'm going to keep saying the same thing over & over again until I'm like 600 lbs or something.  I know that diet pills don't really work, but I have some left over that I might use again.  I didn't really use it the first time when I bought them...so still have plenty left.  It's "Leptopril."  It's supposed to suppress your appetite some & give you more energy.  If that's the case, then I'm all for it.  If I wasn't constantly hungry (or thinking that I am) & if I had more energy, I think it would be a whole lot easier to lose the weight.  So going to start that today & see how it goes.  I have eaten a TON of carbs over the past few days.  I haven't weighed yet today...but yesterday was 315.:(  I have been around 310.  I know that  I need to at least TRY & not half ass it & waste my time.  

THE CONFEDERATE FLAG, DUKES OF HAZARD, ETC.

This may piss some people off...but it's just my opinion.  I don't see why we can't just get along & learn to deal with each other & our differences...but guess that's not going to happen any time soon.

"On June 23, 2015, retailers Wal-Mart, Amazon.com, Sears Holding Corporation (which owns Sears and Kmart), and eBay all announced plans to stop selling merchandise with the Confederate flag. Similarly, Warner Bros. announced that they were halting production of "General Lee" car toys, which prominently feature a Confederate flag on the roof."

I don't even know how to go about saying this. The Confederate Flag is what it is. It's a part of history. I don't think that it should be taken out of stores, or off of State buildings in the South, or that "The Dukes of Hazard" should be taken off the air. It doesn't cause hate. People do. Hate is passed on from generation to generation. White parents and/or grandparents teach their kids to hate black people (or other races), black parents and/or grandparents teach their kids to hate white people. I feel that organizations like the KKK & other white supremacists groups shouldn't be allowed anywhere near kids & that they shouldn't be able to have any kids to carry on their hate. I feel that it's child abuse. That's just my opinion. Who made Dylann Roof hate black people, Jews, Hispanics & "East Asians?" Who knows? Yes he hates them all according the a manifesto the police found. They found pictures of him holding a gun & a Confederate Battle Flag. So....if he was holding a United States Flag...would we be getting rid of those too? The KKK isn't helping matters any. They plan to hold a rally on July 18th on the grounds of the South Carolina Statehouse in support of the Confederate flag. The South is still VERY racist no matter that it's 2015. I don't get it. I don't hate people for the color of their skin. I don't HATE anyone. I judge people based on their actions. Who cares what color their skin is? If I'm "racist" against anyone, it's against the KKK. Does that even make sense?? I actually DO feel a bit of hatred for them & people like them. They are ridiculous & they are cowards who dress up in bed sheets & pillow cases. The white race is no better than any other race & I'm not sure who told them they were. Slavery was a horrible thing. The flag is just a flag. Tomorrow people will be offended about something else. So to the KKK & all other racists out there....get over yourselves & you might as well quit deluding yourselves into thinking that God thinks it's OK to do what you're doing. To the black people out there....slavery should never have happened in the first place, however, you can't keep using that as an excuse whenever you're in trouble TODAY..you can't keep saying that all white people are against you. Not all are. So to ALL races out there...quit hating each other, quit killing each other, quit blaming each other. We are all supposed to be here or we wouldn't be.

Now if none of this made sense to you or I contradicted myself...which I'm sure I did in all of that...I'm not a writer, I'm not a brain. Thoughts come into my head & even though they make sense in there...it's hard for me to put it on paper or in this case on here. So cut me a little slack when I go on my rants.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!

I can't believe that it's July already!!  I had the chest x-ray & blood work done.  The x ray showed some residual something or other (I really need to write this stuff down!) & I will have to have another one around the 22nd of this month to make sure that whatever is there is cleared up.  If not, we will have to see from there.  All of my blood work came back OK.  So she wants to check those nodules on my thyroid.  Not sure how they go about doing that.  Also to talk to me some more about all of my other blood work.  I hate having to wait...especially the whole doctor thing.  I just want to know things NOW!lol  I still get short of breath easily, but that could be because I'm fat.  I still have a cough with some crap in my chest.  Other than that, I don't feel too bad.  A few days earlier in the week...I was sweating like crazy.  Yes most people DO sweat in the Summer...but this was running down my face sweating, which is unusual for me.  I wasn't even really doing anything at the times that it happened.  I was helping mom clean a house, but I had just gotten there & hadn't really done anything yet.  I could be in peri-menopause (I'm too thrilled).  I will be 46 next month.  I have had my right ovary removed because of a cyst...that was over 14 years ago.  I had 2 more kids after that.  I know guys may be reading this too...and for this next bit...I'm sorry..LOL  I only had my period maybe 2-3x last year.  This year I have only had it once & that was in January.   It was pretty heavy then...yuck.  I don't miss it.  I DO, however, get period cramps from time to time....which are more annoying than anything else really. 

 
The weight loss thing...when I was sick...I had "gotten down" to 303.  Have been back up to around 311 & yesterday was 308.  Now that's better than the 327 I got up to a few months ago, but I don't want to be in the 300's AT ALL.  I haven't been exercising at all...that's just me being lazy.  I need to start.  I have been trying to drink more water.  I have to pretty much not eat anything to lose weight & it's annoying.  I try to stick to mostly low carb, but I'm not totally low carb.  If I feel deprived at all, then I binge.  I don't think that I eat as much in the Summer as I do in the Winter...just because it's too hot & I feel sick if I eat anything other than like fruit.  I'm not a big fan of fruit & vegetables, but I know that you need those things.  I have also found that I pretty much can't eat after like 6:00pm.  If I do, I will be sick later that night.  It seems that no matter what I may eat...it just doesn't sit well with me at that time.  I have heartburn a lot.  I take Prilosec every once in a while for it, but not on a regular basis.  The bad thing is...I WANT to eat after 6:00pm!!LOL  I can go all day sometimes without eating, but then want to eat at night, which isn't a good thing.  But I don't like feeling sick to my stomach.  So I just need to figure some things out.  I want to be below 300 lbs before my birthday at the end of next month...it's only 9 lbs til I get there....you think that I would be able to manage that, but we'll see.

I have had a little extra money this month...so I should be all happy & calm & not worried about anything...well I fucked up.  I have NO self control.  I think that sometimes I need to go to Gamblers Anonymous.  I spend way too much money on scratch tickets, Bingo & on-line gambling sites.  Well mostly just one.  I win some...but most of the time it's not enough to cover what I have spent.  So instead of being relaxed about it all, I'm a little stressed.  I have no one to blame but myself.  I haven't told anyone & don't plan to.  I write it here & tell you guys & that's enough.  I'm concerned about being judged to an extent, but if you write a blog, I guess that's something that you just need to accept.  I'm not sure why I like to gamble like I do...maybe it's the thrill of winning something.  The adrenaline rush.  All I know is that if I DON'T win at the time, I feel totally guilty & tell myself that I won't do it  again, but then I do.  We are OK for now. 

 I wanted to go to N. Dakota to see one of my best friends whom I haven't seen in 24 years!  But since I waited until now to see about tickets for later this month...they are a little more than I can afford.  I can get them now for around the beginning of September...which would be cool, but the kids are in school then & I don't have anyone to get them up & off to school.  So not sure what the plans will be.  I don't want to go up there in the Winter as they get a lot of snow & she lives 3 hours from the airport.  

A word of advice...never look at your exes gf's FB page.LOL  Well...I'm not sure why..but she unblocked me.  I was just messing around one day & typed her name in & found that out.  But I think that she hides most of her stuff & definitely anything about Jeff.  There are no pics of him or any mention of him in the posts that I'm able t o read.  The only reason I know that they're still together is because of a comment someone left her about the two of them.  I had been thinking about him a lot & guess that's why I was looking at her page.  Our 3rd anniversary would've been June 26th, his birthday is this month, next month it'll be a year since he moved out, etc.  Just got to me.  The messed up thing is I still miss him in a way.  I definitely miss his friendship.  But I know that I can't go back.  SO...I'm not looking at her page anymore.  He moved on a long time ago.  I just need to let it go. 

 
My step-dad has been gone for 2 years yesterday.   Sometimes it seems like that long & other times it seems like it just happened.  I miss him a ton.  It still really bothers me.  I know that death happens to all of us, but I don't have to like it.  I'm also just trying to figure out what I believe & don't believe as far as Heaven, God & everything are concerned.  Like I think I have said before, I believe in reincarnation...or I at least hope that's how it goes.   I just freak out about not existing anymore.  I freak out about my mom, kids, etc. not existing anymore & not ever seeing the people I love again who have already died.  When I was so sick last month, I literally thought I was going to die.  I felt sooo bad.  I don't make a good patient.  The unknown really bothers me.  

I need to write here more.  I keep saying that & then go weeks without writing anything & then I have so much to say!  I'm sure it gets a bit overwhelming reading my posts when I jump around so much. 

 
My ex-sister-in-law invited my mom & I over for a barbecue this evening, so we're going to be going there & then watching fireworks from here house.  They shoot them off of "Tenderfoot Mountain" & that's pretty much in front of her house.  They were actually selling fireworks this year...in recent years, we haven't been able to have a fireworks display, because the weather was so dry & we had to wait until Labor Day weekend for them to do it.  But we have been getting some rain this Summer, so that's cool.  

That's a picture of Tenderfoot from downtown.  Some people may think that it's weird that my ex sister in law invited us down there, but my kids go & yes my ex will be there with his gf, but we get along OK now.  So it's really not a big deal.  I still get along with his family even when I wasn't getting along with him.  
I hope everyone has an awesome 4th of July!! Be safe!